Picture this grown man (or Wooo-man) sitting in their cubical in their suits trying to get that last little bit of yogurt out of their 50-cent plastic container. *ticka-ticka-ticka-ticka* I think you missed some, try using your fingers.
Scuff, scuff, scuff…pick up your feet you moron !
Are you turning? Going straight?
Oh man, I could have gone there!
I see you’re slowly moving into my lane and not warning me…
Ohh, I’m so going to block you in there.
Oh like that’s going to help you!
I only ever see large women do this while they drink their can of Pepsi for their breakfast.
What, does making the smacking noise make your food taste better? Does more oxygen intake ignite the flavor system of that food I can now see inside of your gaping pie-hole? Be gone!
Please shut up. If you cannot count in your brain you don’t have one.
You just wiped your ass, come on. Oooor you just finished touching your unit. Oh sure, you say you didn’t use your hands but if you can get away with doing that, there must not be a whole lot there if it can control itself.
Books are dirty, you don’t know who was reading this thing (please see previous peeve). Would you lick a doorknob? Same thing.
“Hmm, I think I’ll just throw this 1/2 eaten turkey away”. I summon 500 hungry Ethiopian kids to sit on your doorstep.
Please make the effort and bend your ass over and aim for the drain. just think, no mess – less cleaning.
You are GOING to die.
They land like little exploading bombs and barely miss your car. If you ever throw a lit cigarette at me or my car….grrrrrr.
Why do you have me come to your house and your doorbell doesn’t even work? What am I supposed to do now? Go home? I knocked but you must be in the basement ! What the hell?!?
This is a classic example of…DIE !
Ok Mr. Heavyfoot, is there any need why you have to stomp around like you’re 300 pounds? You’re a 110 pound old man, what are you wearing on your feet Dutch wooden clogs?
Why do you let the toilet seat drop down? how much effort does it take to guide it down gently the other 1/2 way? It’s not hard when you get used to it. It’s like a routine effortless movement. Same thing with cupboard doors, bedroom doors, closet doors…you’re just a moron.
No one wants to hear that! People like those who are confident.
I come out and their driver side door is about 5 inches away from my passenger door. There’s no way he could have gotten out of his car without hitting my car – there’s just no way. For those people who put those dents in my car doors – if I find you I WILL stab your tires.
What’s going on? I can’t seem to find a shower curtain that actually sticks to the tub. I’m having this nice shower and suddenly this cold shower curtain rudely invades my personal space. There are 3-4 magnets on the bottom of this thing, why are none of them doing their job?
“Oh you probably won’t like this…” or “I know you probably don’t want to do this but…”
Who the bloody blue hell are you to tell me what I probably will or won’t like? I’ll tell you if I don’t like something. Why don’t you just ask me before making your mind up for me?
Put them away now, those things take up too much counter space. Why aren’t they put away afterwards?
Albeit ? Why don’t you say although like normal people? Try and communicate your thoughts as quickly and effectively as you can. Time is often money, miscommunication can cost more money. If you were my employee I’d fire you.
Doesn’t the door mechanism thing’s sound annoy you when it springs into place after pushing the door closed with your lazy hand? Like the springy door stopper’s Thwaaaaaaannnggg sound, it annoys me.
Why are they staggered all over the place? Why can’t they be all in the same position on the road so you don’t have to weave around to avoid hitting them like some sick game of Frogger®?
People who wear knee braces that probably don’t need to.
You see them everywhere. Usually it’s higher income professionals who like to join as many teams as possible to make them feel good about themselves but rarely show up. They put on these accessories and body decorations when they don’t have anything wrong with their limbs at all.
If your cartilage is so bad you can’t walk around then fine put it on, don’t slap them on and pretend to be a big gimp.
Why do they beep when the buttons are pressed?
No other phones in the house beep when you press buttons. You have the ear piece that beep, why do you have to have a speaker on it that makes beeps for every button you press? It’s really annoying.
I hate it when you’re on the highway or a busy street and there’s a whole train of cars and one person decides to make a turnoff. They slow down to a stop and then when everyone’s fuming they turn. They could do it a little quicker. I love those people who use the shoulder of the road and the passing opposing lane for their slowing.
They never work. I use mechanical pencils.
If you share a washing machine and you use bleach to do your clothes you better make damn sure you don’t spill it and leave it anywhere. The next person who piles their clothes on top of the washer will wreck their clothes. I hate you.
It’s like I’m having dinner with myself, what’s the point? If I’m buying you dinner as a special occasion at least make an effort to not look like you’d rather be somewhere else. Don’t even answer your phone, or if you do say you’re in the middle of dinnner with someone and you’ll call them back. You know what’s nice, when someone asks why you didn’t answer your phone and then you say “I’m in the middle of dinner, I’ll call them back, I have call display”. I want my evening back.